Nicolas would have been 22

Dear family and friends,

Today is the birthday of my son Nicolas, who would have been 22. For me, his mom, this is a particularly difficult day since his tragic death on July 18, 2020. I’m overwhelmed by grief and sadness, because for me, every birthday, every holiday is now tinged with this irreparable absence.

My son was a wonderful young man, full of life and love for those around him. We miss her radiant smile and her loving heart. I remember his past birthday parties, where he would celebrate with friends and family, filling the room with laughter and joy. Today, he’s no longer here to celebrate with us.

I’m grateful for the memories we’ve shared together, the moments of happiness and joy that will remain forever engraved in my heart. But I also know that life will never be the same without him. Every day is a challenge for me, and holidays that were once times of rejoicing are now filled with sadness and pain.

To all those who knew Nicolas, I ask you to take a moment today to think of him, to remember the love he shared with the world. And for me, his mom, I ask you to take a moment; not to support me, not to send me your thoughts of love or comfort, but to watch his little video again, to keep the positive, the luminous, the beautiful of Nicolas.For your information, in this video retracing his short but intense life against a backdrop of the music he loved to listen to (please turn on the sound), I’ve incorporated a video he sent me in March 2020 when I was isolated due to covid (duels and games with his little brother, chopping wood and ending with a photo of the two of them with hearts):

If you can’t follow the link, please select the video tab on the site:

and this is the first video. (please turn on the sound)

Thank you for taking the time to read my words today. I wish you all a life filled with love and happiness, and I know that thanks to all of you, he lives on through his foundation.

With all my love,


A little poem on this day:

Nicolas, my beloved son, would have turned twenty-two on that sacred day. But life had other plans, and here I am, my heart in tatters, sobbing.

I remember her laughing eyes, her warm smile, her fervent heart. He was a boy full of life, who loved to laugh, have fun and do crazy things.

He had a taste for unique things, and liked to mix styles for a fantastic look. He wasn’t afraid to make people laugh, and his humor was a gift, a pleasure.

But behind this cheerful façade lay a tender, delicate and affectionate soul. He loved to cuddle and scratch, And for me, his mother, he had a love that shone through.

His life was too short, alas, and now I find myself alone with my worries. Birthdays are no longer celebrations, but days of pain, when my sorrow is concrete.

Nicolas, I miss you so much! Your absence is a huge, heavy void. I can’t forget you, you live inside me, in every thought, every sigh, every emotion.
You’ve been a precious gift, and even though you’re no longer here, your love continues to be alive and warm. You are forever in my heart, and I will always love you, my dear son, my happiness.

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